The second I realized what blogging was, I wanted to do it. That is because I always wanted to write, but all my early attempts started with great passion and soon fizzled out as I got lost in the details of describing scenes, facial expressions, etc. Oh the details.
He looked at her longingly while the steam from his nostrils rose up into the cold night sky.
Blogging was brief, to the point, and topic specific. It was made for me. Short bursts of energy expended on a passionate topic. I found my thing for sure. I blogged religiously for 4 months and picked up a small, slightly disturbed following (Just kidding you guys!). I took pictures. I tested recipes. I gave advice. I responded to all comments. I stayed true to my mission (beach houses and comfort food) and my audience. Then one day last May I just forgot what I was talking about. I soon developed a very serious case of blogger block. I tried to break it by just putting up a post. Desperation set in when I decided a picture with a caption would be good enough. Anything to just POST SOMETHING!
I thought, “Come on! A cat, a dog, a kid, everyone likes pictures of those. Take a picture of you cat and put it on your damn site!”
It was exhausting just trying to choose the right photo. What was my purpose? Where had it gone? I wallowed around trying to recommit by reading past posts. I scoured other more successful blogs to see why everyone liked them so much and to get inspired. But inside I kept trying to remember why I started the blog in the first place. Nothing worked. So I became a blogger dead beat. It’s a very common tale. You would know this if you ever tried to start a blog by searching for an available name on a blogging site. All the good ones are taken. I had excellent ideas for my blog, and discovered that they were all taken, as was every variation and random spelling. I went to those sites that had taken my idea to see what they were up to with my title, only to find that each person hadn’t blogged for 8 or more years and only had one post! The true blogger deadbeat, take a great name and then leave it lingering on the web for all to see how apathetic, and afraid of commitment you really are!
Coincidently I turned 48 at about the time that I developed “blogger block” along with a new crop of grey hair, a belly that was bigger than Dr. Oz said it should be, and a textbook case of acid reflux. The pounds began to creep on as I told myself that I would take them off in the summer when I was less stressed. Well, each year I found myself looking at a backside that I didn’t recognize and a belly that I have now begun to disguise with flowing sweaters that hang down and cover everything. You know the ones. You put on an outfit and then cover it with a long flowing sweater thing. So abandoning my blog gave me time to read and research. Great! I had a new passion. I read everything on eating, wellness, spirituality, healing, parabens, and carbs. On New Year’s Eve, I declared that 2013 would be the year of “cleaning up.” Clean my diet, my closets, and get back to simplicity. I dug into more books, watched every show on weight, age, and exercise, spent hours on the internet, developed an obsession for the show “The Biggest Loser,” Trader Joe’s, and discovered Pema Chodron in the stacks of my local library. (She wasn’t actually in the stacks, but her books were there.) She introduced me to meditation and dealing with my shenpa.
I would really like to live another 50 years or so. I now have decided to take everything I have learned about carbs, insulin, fat, coconut oil, almond flour, yoga, and shenpa and put it into action. Have I tripped onto the key to life by kicking carbs and artificial ingredients? Will this blog survive with a change in focus to low carb eating habits and away from some of the pantry recipes?? My pantry doesn’t look like it used to, but my flip-flops are still longing for the beach and I have many new recipes and ideas to hand down. Life is an evolution. So healthy, low carb comfort cooking on island time????? We will see.